Monday, March 01, 2004

Dylan Deliberates

Dylan is a rabbit of few words. In fact, loquacious rabbits are hard to find. But when speaking, or being spoken of, they can be profound:

“I’m a rabbit,” said Dylan.
"But I'm a rabbit who sleeps. I'm not the hopping kind."
Eric Thompson (Writer, Actor and Director, Born Sleaford, Lincs, 1929 – 1982)

Ideas are like rabbits. You get a couple and learn how to handle them, and pretty soon you have a dozen."
John Steinbeck (American Novelist and Writer, Nobel Prize for Literature for 1962, 1902-1968)

"I don't see much sense in that," said Rabbit.
"No," said Pooh humbly, "there isn't. But there was going to be when I began it. It's just that something happened to it along the way."
A. A. Milne (English Humorist and Writer, creator of Winnie-the-Pooh, 1882-1956)

"Man is the only creature that consumes without producing. He does not give milk, he does not lay eggs, he is too weak to pull the plough, he cannot run fast enough to catch rabbits. Yet he is lord of all the animals."
George Orwell (English Novelist and Essayist, 1903-1950)

"The difference between sentiment and being sentimental is the following: Sentiment is when a driver swerves out of the way to avoid hitting a rabbit on the road. Being sentimental is when the same driver, when swerving away from the rabbit, hits a pedestrian."
Frank Herbert (American science fiction Author and Writer, 1920-1986)

Sunday, February 01, 2004

Dylan Deliberates

Dylan’s Dream

Dylan was sleeping - a bit restlessly - and dreaming of carrots and other delights, when Dougal came along. If there was a sleeping contest, thought Dougal, this rabbit would win.
“Better get up,” said Dylan, yawning.
“What we need in this garden is a rabbit-chasing dog - I'm too kind-hearted,” said Dougal.
“Er ... friend,” said Dylan.
“Yes?” said Dougal.
“Is it daylight yet?” said Dylan.
“Is it what?” said Dougal.
“Daylight,” said Dylan. “Everything seems to be dark. Are you sure it's not still, like, the middle of the night?”
“I'm absolutely positive,” said Dougal. “I've been up for hours.”
Dylan thought about this...
“Then there must be some explanation,” he said.
“Try opening your eyes,” said Dougal.

Florence ... boing! ... met Zebedee.
“Lovely day,” she said.
“You are a comfort,” said Zebedee.
“I know,” said Florence.

Dougal was pondering the problem of Dylan. “Perhaps I could get him drummed out of the rabbits union: For idleness and non-devotion to duty. I don't think I've seen him leaping about and nibbling grass,” said Dougal.
“Hello, Dougal,” said Florence.
Dylan still had his problem. “If it's dark,” he reasoned, “it must be night and if it's night I should be sleeping. . .”
“Made any progress?” Dougal asked, as he showed the problem to Florence.
“Don't speak, man,” said Dylan. “At this time of night you shouldn't be here.”

Brian came along to complicate matters...
“Before we get embroiled in snails,” said Dougal, “may I suggest you lift your ears and let in the light.”
“It's a great idea, man,” said Dylan, “but they appear to be, like, stuck in this position.”

Brian had brought a boat.
“That's a great help,” said Dougal.
“I'm going boating,” said Brian.
“No, you're not,” said Dougal. “You are staying here and helping us.”
“Anything you say, old martinet,” said Brian. “Hello, rabbit.”
“This isn't getting us anywhere,” said Florence. “We must unstick Dylan's ears.”
“Why?” said Dougal and Brian.
“At least he's quiet like that,” said Dougal.

Dylan was saddened by their lack of sympathy. “I give you music, friends,” he said, “Will you not give me help?”
“What a heart-rending speech,” said Dougal.
“I'm rent,” said Brian.
“Yes, you would be,” said Dougal. “I have never known anyone as gullible as you.”
“I'm not gullible - I'm a snail,” said Brian.

But suddenly there was a dramatic change in the situation - Dylan's ears unstuck.
“Daylight,” he said. “Oh, comfort and joy ... like ... joy”
“Perhaps,” said Dougal, “we can now get on with life.”

Dylan snores

Thursday, January 01, 2004

Dylan Deliberates

Dylan and the Guitar

Dylan woke up full of energy…
Exercise is the greatest thing, he thought in, in moderation.
“You’re at it again, aren’t you?” said Dougal.
And Dylan was…
“Wake up!” said Dougal. “Don’t you ever get tired doing all that sleeping?”
“I’ve not given it a lot of thought, man” said Dylan.
“Well, it’s about time you did,” said Dougal. “You’ll grow roots!”
“Promise?” said Dylan.

Zebedee arrived and had a look around. “Anything happening?” he asked.
“Only in the most negative sense,” said Dougal.
“Anything happening?” said Florence.
Only if you are interested in negative events,” said Zebedee.
“Oh,” said Florence.

Dylan continues to snore, energetically.

“The phantom snorer strikes again,” said Dougal.
“Wake him up,” said Florence.
“That would require an act of Parliament,” said Dougal.
“Greetings, friends,” said Dylan. “I have decided to take more exercise in future. The trouble is I keep falling asleep before I can start.”
“You absolutely amaze us,” they said.
“Luckily,” said Dylan, “when I’m asleep I dream I’m playing …it’s exhausting”
Dylan dreamed he was playing again.
Dylan woke up, exhausted.
“You’ve been asleep,” said Florence.
“I know, man. I’m not sure I can keep it up.” said Dylan.

“Time for bed,” said Zebedee.