Sunday, February 01, 2004

Dylan Deliberates

Dylan’s Dream

Dylan was sleeping - a bit restlessly - and dreaming of carrots and other delights, when Dougal came along. If there was a sleeping contest, thought Dougal, this rabbit would win.
“Better get up,” said Dylan, yawning.
“What we need in this garden is a rabbit-chasing dog - I'm too kind-hearted,” said Dougal.
“Er ... friend,” said Dylan.
“Yes?” said Dougal.
“Is it daylight yet?” said Dylan.
“Is it what?” said Dougal.
“Daylight,” said Dylan. “Everything seems to be dark. Are you sure it's not still, like, the middle of the night?”
“I'm absolutely positive,” said Dougal. “I've been up for hours.”
Dylan thought about this...
“Then there must be some explanation,” he said.
“Try opening your eyes,” said Dougal.

Florence ... boing! ... met Zebedee.
“Lovely day,” she said.
“You are a comfort,” said Zebedee.
“I know,” said Florence.

Dougal was pondering the problem of Dylan. “Perhaps I could get him drummed out of the rabbits union: For idleness and non-devotion to duty. I don't think I've seen him leaping about and nibbling grass,” said Dougal.
“Hello, Dougal,” said Florence.
Dylan still had his problem. “If it's dark,” he reasoned, “it must be night and if it's night I should be sleeping. . .”
“Made any progress?” Dougal asked, as he showed the problem to Florence.
“Don't speak, man,” said Dylan. “At this time of night you shouldn't be here.”

Brian came along to complicate matters...
“Before we get embroiled in snails,” said Dougal, “may I suggest you lift your ears and let in the light.”
“It's a great idea, man,” said Dylan, “but they appear to be, like, stuck in this position.”

Brian had brought a boat.
“That's a great help,” said Dougal.
“I'm going boating,” said Brian.
“No, you're not,” said Dougal. “You are staying here and helping us.”
“Anything you say, old martinet,” said Brian. “Hello, rabbit.”
“This isn't getting us anywhere,” said Florence. “We must unstick Dylan's ears.”
“Why?” said Dougal and Brian.
“At least he's quiet like that,” said Dougal.

Dylan was saddened by their lack of sympathy. “I give you music, friends,” he said, “Will you not give me help?”
“What a heart-rending speech,” said Dougal.
“I'm rent,” said Brian.
“Yes, you would be,” said Dougal. “I have never known anyone as gullible as you.”
“I'm not gullible - I'm a snail,” said Brian.

But suddenly there was a dramatic change in the situation - Dylan's ears unstuck.
“Daylight,” he said. “Oh, comfort and joy ... like ... joy”
“Perhaps,” said Dougal, “we can now get on with life.”

Dylan snores